My name Is Linda i am 19 years old. Shattered Men has saved my life. i was abused
all my life. i felt alone i felt unloved i just wanted to fade away.

When i first met Pastor Kenneth Deemer i was mad at the world. i was so bitter
and just plain mean. Pastor Deemer worked with me. he tried to show me that
there were decent people out there. i tryed really hard to push him away
from me. i kept pushing him. i kept saying mean things to him. i wanted him
to leave me so i could say " See your just like the rest of them " BUT
Pastor Deemer would not leave me. he stayed with me. he just kept talking
to me. calling me. soon my anger slowed down. i started to listen to him.
and soon my anger was gone. ALL GONE. Pastor Deemer helped me
understand why i was so mad. he showed me he cared and he showed me the only
way i can be really happy was to meet his best Friend Jesus which I did
on 7/10/2006. i was at peace. and Pastor Deemer is now my online dad.
he has truly been my Best Friend.

So you see with out Shattered Men i would still be a bitter mean person.
but thanks to dad i am on my way to healing. Thank you Shattered Men
Thank you.

Linda

Ron,

I just have to respond to this although I have been trying not to respond to comments here. Ron, you said "what did Dad what in return for helping me? NOTHING NOT A THING. he just wanted to show me he cared. "

Actually, I did get something....something far more important then fame or fortune, I got the joy of knowing that you found peace, happiness and joy. I would not trade this for anything. My only motive to have Shattered Men made known is so we can reach more young men and women and we can help others find real healing and be able to move from being a victim to being an over comer...being a survivor. That son...is reward enough for me. dad

Pastor Kenneth Deemer

Director Shattered Men
P.O. BOX 166
MARION INDIANA 46952-0166

shatteredmen@earthlink.net

JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month

Web site: http://www.shatterdmen.com
Interactive Group: http://health.gro

I would like to take this time to Thank the leadership of Shatteredmen for
helping me. they have saved me from making a giant mistake.

I was listening to the wrong person. i was going downhill fast. i was abused
as a child and i had been alone for so long i thought that my only friend
was the one i should have stayed away from. Pastor Ken Deemer saw that
i needed a firm hand. he saw I the need for a Father figure in my life. I am
18 years old. and NEVER knew how a Father should treat his Children. but
Pastor Deemer offered to be my " Dad " to show me how a Dad should
treat his Children. at first i wouldn't listen. i fought him. but he never
gave up on me. He showed me the Love that Jesus has for me. he showed
me that I was Loved by my Father in Heaven.

I now call him Dad. i call him and say hi dad. i never knew the Love of a Dad.
without Shattered Men i would have given into the life i was heading for.
a life without hope a life with pain. Now thanks to Dad i face a life of HOPE
and a life of Love. without Shattered Men i don't think i would be here
i would be in Jail or dead. Pastor Deemer and Shattered Men has made
me look forward to everyday. he took the time to listen to me they took
the time to get to know me. and what did Dad what in return for helping
me? NOTHING NOT A THING. he just wanted to show me he cared.

Shattered Men has helped Hundreds of people some they may never
know about. they help BOTh Men & Women. without Shattered men
where would a lot of Men go to get help? who would listen to them
who would say " We Care ABOUT you. We LOVE You " who would
do this for abused Men? NOT MANY. Men have no place to turn to.
but they do have people who Care and they have one Person who
Gave His life so we can ALL have a Better life Jesus they Have Him
and Pastor Ken Deemer and The Shattered Men and Women.
if you need help Check them out they Love to help you find
the Peace we ALL want.

So Thank You Shattered Men Thank you for showing me you Cared
and thank you Dad for showing me how a Dad should act.
God Bless You

Ron W

As a Victim/Child Advocate, I endorse this support group, as an ethical, and morally based support for those in need, ESPECIALLY those that do not normally have a voice in society. I have seen and been involved with this advocacy for many years now, and know that they are making a huge impact with not only male victims of domestic violence, but also all that are lead to seek help in many, many situations.

Tami Pepperman
tamikay23@hotmail.com

Early Sunday Morning, April 1st, 2007 someone hacked into my account and deleted the interactive group for Shattered Men. This is where most of the work for Shattered Men was done. They also gained access to the e-mail account that we used which contained confidential information from our membership both as an ordained minister and as a registered nurse but it appears they simply deleted that as quickly as they could but we lost several thousand messages there too.

In this deletion, we lost all of the information that has been posted since Oct. 31, 1999 including over 40,000 messages along with the contact information for 990 members.

We will rebuild. Yahoo is working on trying to recover some of this information and they have said they do know who did it. We will be requesting criminal charges be filed with the FBI who has already been contacted regarding this.

Unless we look at BOTH sides, we will not resolve this problem but it appears that someone is willing to break United States federal laws to keep BOTH sides from being exposed!

Our new interactive group is at:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Shatteredmen/

Pastor Kenneth Deemer

Director Shattered Men
P.O. BOX 166
MARION INDIANA 46952-0166

shatteredmen@earthlink.net

JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month

Web site: http://www.shatterdmen.com

Interactive Group: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Shatteredmen/

Battered Husband Support fully supports Shattered Men. Shattered Men provides a program based on the Christian Faith, which is highly effective for many, while our program strives to be available to those for whom a Christian Faith model is not suited. Ken has been an active contributor to Battered Husbands Support for several years, and I am grateful for the effort he puts forth, both in Battered Husbands Support and in Shattered Men, to act in support of the men he has chosen to minister to.

In fact, if groups other than Shattered Men provided similar programs for those whose Faith is other than Christian, it would enhance our ability to help battered men, as we could refer those whose Faith is a central part of their lives to groups that would both support their Faith and their ability to survive and recover from domestic violence.

Ideally, the ultimate outcome of a process like this would be a network of complementary groups that would support each other as we support our members.

Where do I start? I joined Shattered Men after Ken told me about it. I didn't think i would fit in.
i left the group many times. and as of now i am NOT in the group. but this has NOT stopped Ken
and the Moderators of Shattered Men from helping me. Ken has even met me in person 4 times
because i was a mess. I have a yahoo group with only Ken and a few people in there with me.
they have done so much for me. they make feel like i have value. i don't really. but they make
me like i do.

Ken even saved my life. In Oct 2006 i got a hold of Ken on IM to say Goodbye to him. I was
suicidal. well Ken got a hold of Tim and they talked to me for hours and they SAVED my life.
they also saved my life a few other times.

I was abused as a very young child. till my teenage years. the pain the torture i went through
at the hands of my Uncle/father and my Aunt. i would NEVER EVER wish that on anyone. i
thought no one cared about me. I HATED myself I still do to this day I hate myself. I have
many flashbacks and nightmares. i call Ken when i am really bad and NO MATTER how busy
he is he will talk to me as long as i need to talk. my computer went out for 2 months and
i thought well everyone will forget me now. NOT Ken and my Support team. Ken called me
everyday almost just to check on me. that meant so much to me. that he cared enough to check on me

Last year Ken became a target of a group on yahoo. it was a hate group. Ken stood up for
me when this group posted my real name my real phone number, my real home address
Ken stood up to them and as a result they made a hate group for him. No ONe has ever
stood up for me NO ONE. but Ken did. he protected me. and that meant so much to me.

I have learned so much from Ken and Shattered men. i have learned about the pain men
face from abuse. i have learned that women are just as violet if not more so then men.
i learned that women DO NOT go to jail for the same crime as a man. I have had my eyes
opened up to the other side of the abuse issue. one i am very sory to say i din't know
about. I know now. Shattered Men has helped just as many women as they have men.
these women then turn around and help men because someone took the time to help
them. so Please check out Shattered Men. take a look at BOTH sides of abuse learn how
men suffer. and then maybe we can help everyone.

So how has Shattered Men helped a Women like me? they saved my life. they took
the time to help me they never judged me. I still have a very long way to go. and i
am still in the ealry stages of healing. but with God Ken and my Support team
From Shattered men with me I think i can do this. Thank you Ken for reaching out
your hand to me. thank you for saving my life. and being my friend when i really
needed one. like i said i have a long way to go. but I hoper i will win this Battle.
God Bless

I joined Shattered Men after I found how instrumental, compassionate, and devoted to reaching out to those(men, women, & children) needing help. Thus with great understanding and knowledge of real issues.

For what I am about to mention, goes against the political-correctness in our society. I absolutely believe in equality for all, and that not any man, woman, or child suffer abuse.

Shattered Men personally helped me as I was able to find a child advocate for my 5 year old son(my son is now 7 years old). I am a single dad in which I've numerously attempted getting any kind of HELP from local authorities, social workers, and DV advocates... Only to be DENIED & DISBELIEVED for any help, advice, advocacy, & shelter... Simply due to my gender(a heterosexual adult male). The local advocates nor law enforcement wouldn't even bother to help my child... Simply because I am a man, and it was I who asked for help. Or the fact they considered her abuse to be a - "civil matter". Not even the homeless shelters would provide me a place to stay all because I am "a man with a kid", in which I was exactly told. I was down to my last shread of hope, and felt doomed. I literally broke down into tears as I ran out of any viable means to protect my son. I refused to allow my child and I suffer further battering, threats, the drug abuse, and her manipulation. But because I took a stand to cease by vacating an abusive enviornment, I was literally struck down. No place to go. Now I completely understand why men cannot escape(and with their own children)an abusive enviornment. I was simply trying to do the right thing. To ensure my son's survival. I remembered a close friend of mine, my next door neighbor - who defended himself from his estranged wife whom he found out was using drugs in their home. It was he who went to jail and charged with domestic violence. She was unscathed, and he never hit her but pushed her off of him. He was cut up across the face, torso, and legs due to her using a piece of glass(which the glass came from a shattered drinking class she threw at him).

I have documented every name and phone number of each safe house, homeless & victim shelter who denied and vilified my attempts. Once again, it wasn't that they didn't have vacancy - they all did. It was solely due to my gender or the fact I have a child. As I shared my experience, I've found that a multitude of battered men have been routinely denied any help.

It was the loving and caring group of people from this group who helped my son and I, tremendously. I am grateful.

The same child advocate also helped my son in other incidents involving his mother physically attacking her newly wedded husband in front of our son. I was at work at the time, and it was his mother's court ordered over-night visitation time with our son(at her residency). As she called me on the phone, and right after her altercation that... "I beat his a-s to the ground. Oh he p----s me off!" I replied, "what happend?" She continued, "d--n right I beat his a-s! I called cops to arrest his sorry a-s, too. The m----r f----r is in jail now."

I immediately asked her if our son was OK, and to put him on the phone so I could talk to him. She asked me "why?". I told her I just needed to know he was OK. She did give me the 3rd degree. But a moment later, I hear my son on the phone... "Daddy? You there?" The moment I asked my son if he was OK? My son said to me, "Come get me... daddy?... Im scared." That very moment... My heart felt like it sunk. Yet, at same time I felt relieved hearing my son's voice. But I still didn't know if his mom did anything to him. I'll never forget that. The reason I thought that way was because when our son was 2.5 years old, his mom went ballistic. She slapped and back-handed our son while he was negotiating his way down the stairs in our home. This, of course, is another story. Another story which ended up with me taking our son out of an abusive enviornment - in which I was literally stabbed in the back(she used an eating utensil to stab me) by her while attempting escape with our son. She then called police stating, "some guy just kidnapped my kid". Regardless the fact I am his father, the police treated me like a criminal. The estranged spouse decided to kick me - full force - in the face & ribs while the police had me on the ground preparing my arrest. By the grace of God, I was not arrested due to her physical attack towards me. However, police did not arrest her, but did say "he probably deserved it".

Back to the original story - I was at work at the time this had all happend(her altercation), in which she called me on my cell phone at 11:30pm. I talked to my co-workers about what had just happend with my son, and asked if I could call up someone to finish my shift. Boy, was I wrong to even mention it... I was grossly criticized(even to this day). Yet, still being pro-active for my son, someone had volunteered to cover my shift - God bless him.

I then called police on my cell phone... Again, quite stupid of me to do. The police simply told me, "its a civil matter", and then ended our brief conversation. I then called my son's child advocate, I told her everything. She immediately instructed me to get my court ordered child custody documents, and then called police.

Even my son's child advocate(who I met via Shattered Men)got the run around initially by the police dispatch - I was glad I had her help in all this. Well, after about 20 minutes of the municipal run-around, she then resorted to FAX, E-MAIL, left messages for the Chief of Police, etc, etc... Our child advocate would NOT take "No" for an answer. After she identified herself as a "Mandatory Reporter Child Advocate", it was only then we got a response from the local police. I still had to wait 40 minutes for a call-back from the police dispatch to arrange a police escort enabling me to get my son. I've had past experience of my former spouse falsely accusing me, in addition of previous physical abuse. But when I finally met up with police, the police officer was cordial towards me - perhaps due to knowing I've a support group to back me? The police stood by and witnessed my son's mother verbally lash out at me, and threatened she'd never let me see our son - nor trust me ever again - because I called police. The police made sure I got my son back - as the police had to interviene for my son, twice!

Even though my son was up way past his bedtime, and very tired... The moment he saw me, he tried running to me. His mom held him down by his arm, and yelled - "get your d--n coat on! Im not letting you outside without a coat". It was in the 70's temperature-wise outside, the police to witness. After his mom put on his coat, and with his arms wide open, he ran to me. The police walked my son and I to my car - as I carried my son. I abundantly thanked the police officer, as well as our child advocate.

It was 1.5 weeks later, SRS investigated my son's mother. A week after that, she was eventually charged with domestic violence. However, the judge dismissed her charges and sent her back home.

I joined this because I feel that it is too important not to. I would like everyone know, that I am one of the individual's that this group has helped and very literally saved my life. I was quite literally at the end of my rope, and as I had described it at that time, I was hanging on to the last string, of the last piece of rope that I had, i had nothing, no faith, no hope left.

I am a long term survivor of abuse from my childhood and onward. My marriage ended last year when my wife was arrested for her final physical assault on me and the children. She then one month later, kidnapped our 3 children from me and set me up and I was almost killed "four times" through the summer. Things got worse from there and I had no help, no-one to reach out to and no support as a male victim. The only support I had, was from "social workers" who just didn't want to understand or "get it". I seriously unravelled and by pure accident, I found out about Shattered Men. Not only did Pastor Ken jump in with sleeves rolled up, but many other's as well, a number of them being women survivors!

You must understand... Everything was packed up, the lists & will was made, the curtains were down, folded and boxed, my automated e-mail was set to distribute my "Parting Note" to the world! I was there! These amazing strangers talked to me, called me on the phone and through Internet Messaging simultaneously, got to me and talked me down from what I was fully prepared to carry through, it took them 4 hours!

They saved me and have restored me and my faith in humanity... I am so much stronger today, I now know that, I am not alone in what happened in my life and have made leaps and bounds in my growth and am moving forward all the time. I have since been plugged into counselling, and a tremendous support network with Shattered Men and have made some very good friends there, from all walks of life and backgrounds... Our common bond is that of cumulative pain and our beliefs in God... I have met some who have also lived my life filled with a tormented past... Without Shattered Men, my daughter's would not have a father, I would not have been able to help others and grow through & beyond. While I still have many battles that need to be fought, and I have support locally now as well, but most importantly from my friends, brothers & sisters from Shattered Men.

Steven